In a quest to find wholeness

The struggle for independence …. The ordeals , as I speak your mind would drift to the political dimension of independence but definitely not the desired effect but in application you not far from the destination.

So I went through what I went through … a mystery, intriguing, exhaustive, complex, pleasurable but I would trade it for an amnesia of all that has happened.

I am strong on taking my heart back but I am yet to reach a resolution if you can wrestle with a force a little less terrestrial … seems very strong and admiring its strengths made me understand how powerless I was when it comes to subduing …

Suddenly the word from the holy scriptures resonates ” all things are possible with christ so I turned to him for a testimony and yet the feeling lingers.


Your Result never really resonated until now

I go to your father in all transparency bearing in mind that you not the best thing I was expectant of, having a mindset of lower than thou (settling for less) … you spoke in encoded words under the euphemism of a humble request or prayer. So you ask if you could have the less of a person, and yet you hoped to get a positive response. ?

You belittled his own craft, a compendium of his own creativity because you worship your list and the predetermined perception of people when you have your picture perfect , you don’t want, what you need you want a design… don’t ask for what you cannot take care of, you slayed the answer in your brokenness, the fact that you missed it does not mean it was never meant to be I strongly believe in substitution… Saul was predestined to be king but freewill changed everything David was made his replacement.

You cannot ask a father for something he holds Precious by telling him, it is less but you can manage it and he will give you a go ahead? No

Because you will slay the person in your brokenness, you will not give it the deserving value cause you never really saw it worth while…. The value is that you must qualify yourself… no father will impose is treasure to one who would not see it for what it is … no one wants torment for it is better to be alone than to be an icon of “settlement” …. You cannot respect what you don’t value….

Your hidden message in the coated words are loud yet not strong enough to create a separation. This is torment but it is better to go over this 1,000 times more, than have you within my arms as an absentee… healing is difficult but if torment be corridor I have to pass through to get healing with quick feet I will walk through.

…. If it is not worthy ask not.

The Dynamics of the Holy-spirit.

who is the holy-spirit?
What the function of the holy-spirit.
The holy-spirit is the third person in the God head that seem to be hidden in plain sight in the eyes of many people.
I could ask different people who is the holy-spirit and they will come up with different answers.
The holy-spirit is the doer i.e the manifest of the spoken word. He brings the word of God to life.
He is the active agent or the catalyst that indicates the change.
He is a compass.
He is a personal.
The comforter

We will expound on this topic by reading some bible verses;
Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. (Genesis 1:2,

The Holy Spirit caused the Virgin Mary to conceive (Matthew 1:20), and at the baptism of Jesus, he descended on Jesus like a dove. On the Day of Pentecost, he rested like tongues of fire on the apostles.

The holy-spirit is power In action. From introspection the spirit manifest its self in measure in the lives of people. Luke 24:49 49I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.” they awaited his manifestation.

The holy-spirit is all encompassing in functions and manifestation and easily you can understand this by the gift it gives examples of the gifts can include;
Speaking in tongues, prophecy, Love, word of knowledge, interpretation  of tongues etc. it gives believers as needed it does not allow anyone to monopolize its gifts even when the bible says covet earnestly the best gifts.

1 Corinthians 12:31 31Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. And yet I will show you the most excellent way

The fact that you prophesied yesterday does not mean you begin to call yourself a prophet, some begin to be mislead and they go opening churches saying they prophesied they have become prophets, when they can no longer prophesy they begin to make up prophesies.

The holy spirit like I said earlier is Power.  When you read in the bible and in a context you see “and the spirit of the lord came upon him”
what is so funny about the power of the holy-spirit it does the unusual empowers you and you automatically reach your maximum potentials as humans that were intentionally created in the form of God before the fall of man. The first Adam lost the spirit.

Genesis 6:3 “3 Then the LORD said, “My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years.” irrespective of the fall we still have the likeness but a demo compared to the original and through the progression of time it declined look at Samson strong and special in stature, we still in the likeness because human beings exist in 3 parts or dimensions The body, soul and spirit.

To do exploit you must posses that spirit a double portion, that was the spirit that was in Jesus Christ and he operated under a different wave length even while he was in human form and of a truth it is because the holy spirit is present here that is why we still have a little sanity in this world today , that is why when he was to ascend he promised the disciples the followers note I  did not mention any name that is as a follower of Christ the gift which is the holy spirit because it becomes an inheritance.  The bible says in John 20:22  “And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”
That was the spirit that cam upon Samson and he tore and annihilated the lion empty handed. i.e the holy-spirit augment powerless things and makes them powerful.

somewhere I n the book of judges Gideon was told by the angel that he will go deliver his people and Gideon acknowledged that his clan was the weakest but when God decides to use something the statos quo changes.

It was the spirit that came mighty and quickens the foot of Elijah and ran faster than the chariots.
The holy spirit quickens, heals … as student in school you need the divine compass to tell you what to do to achieve maximum  success what to say, in the business what it helps maximize minimum to maximum and you begin to increase with little efforts look at Jacob. it is a long an interesting topic next sunday I hope to be able to elucidate on it but it is worth having seen sometimes when I am lost even using the gps when human made works begin to fail I turn to the holy spirit for guidance, reaction. If the people of this world confronts you and say how can you believe something you see not you ask them the fact that you do not see the wind does it mean it is not there , If they question the trinity take them to the dynamics of water, it eexist in how many forms but it is still water




Human project

How can I ask your to build me, take away confusion and you intensify it , I know you tell me your grace is sufficient for me, I get it let me feel it, I expectant my arms are wide open… you said you will not give me a trail that is greater than me without providing a room to escape, you make me battle resettlement and find the definition of love…. I never asked for this, it reminds me of hosea the prophet I get that his entire torment was a representation of the message you try to pass across ….

You took me so close and have me pull apart, yes as painful as it is I want to pull apart I have admitted my powerlessness that is where you come in….

I am stuck … I asked for it and I have not slayed it in my brokenness… neither will I become those who ask for something they are not ready to take care of in its natural form and how you presented them….

I don’t want any of this feelings, chemistry you given to us if it is a burden I have by every means ensure it remains holy what more can I give. It is not my fault that I give more than I receive … feels like I am living the life of someone else, I want to live for you but you make me live for them…

The more prolific I become , the more efficient I become the emptier I get….

You made me encounter one who convinces herself that she is not growing, that she is not feeling , to what end is that or the prayer of my better half is availing strongly. Lol

How can you say you love me and you not defending me …. You seek a good man and in your brokenness you slay him over and over again… because you want the answer to be know cause of its unusual form you hasteningly take the first thing that comes to your mind…. Postponed torture …

Damage and repair ourselves over and over again …fixing becomes a normal …. Continues the fear you have is what makes them direct you

cerebral dazzling Emotional vortex

we make affirmations in our thought to distance ourselves yet the action stays hurtful than the mere thought of it, because it is unnatural to do so… the conflicting standards giving to you daily engraved in your soul by your subordinates and loved ones makes your decision seem like the worst, the fear of disappointing the eyes that watch you makes you see me as “below than thou expectation” so you tell yourself one thing and your heart does another, I go on the other hand wrestling with the reality of the complexity of what we are and make resolutions to erase you but the torture of erasing you proves more hurtful than the present pain.
I see million reasons to release that which bounds me to your existence but against all odds I bow to my knees  in anguish crying silently “release me” in this battle field we tell ourselves to run but we are both loosing and the repercussions of defeat stiffs us in the face.
I understand your indecisions because it is evident that your idea of the one you seek is never what you saw the criteria which you cannot alter the most is what you have been asked to compromise, in a short while we evade ourselves and yet we not ourselves.
That which you strongly reject begins to show the beauty it can attain thereof and you see yourself as weak to accept that you could give in after all.

We tell ourselves we can do without each other and yet the sense to be together overwhelms us, the environment begin to question our choices and you feel so much pressure because you feel you have more to lose. The confrontations are not designed for defeat but for courage, we are both going in circles and yet we tell ourselves under spiritual euphemism that our vulnerability is playing out.
we justify ourselves with reasons why we could and should drift apart and fear going that route cause it is unnatural to do so.

I engage myself in insane conversations why we cannot be like every soul out there  who see themselves as replicable and easily throw what they have shared in the wind there is a deafening  silence  in the silence there is a gap… the gap poses a question, What are we? how can we hurt ourselves with words of goodbyes and yet the pain and pride seem shameless to subdue, what are we ? Too afraid to defend what we found cause it is unusual so we master the act of hiding it in plain sight… we call it “settling” but does it feel like it, open-minded enough to stay relevant to each other and scared to allow things play its natural cause because we fear its manifestation…. the words of support cannot come if you are never sure of what you want, it is a one track route yet we go in two opposite directions, we bring out the best and the worst of each other but nevertheless we grow, almost looks like a game after deep introspection but its not because even when we lose we are winning, define what you feel , we agree to on the rounds of love but disagree in measure cause it is not the definition of love you are used to we are connected by purpose, spirit and if we are too ashamed to see the uniqueness in it we would keep beating down   I show so much strength like desperation it is not in my control like I have always thought it was I stir and say to myself how could this be? how can I see shame in the unusual and want it so I settle for self denial I beseech the creator on our behalf to set us free he stays watching why should one feel so strongly and the other the opposite is he trying to prove to us that we cannot create love or his plan, it is hard to accept what you know not so we reject again and again and the vortex in its complexity becomes a normal. in your subconscious you have asked for what you cannot maintain in your brokenness you have slayed the poor soul and the poor soul questions the existence of love, we worship our list and we tell ourselves that love will come in the way we envisaged, it finds you they say I never searched for it cause it remains an enemy yet it walks right in so I rent the chambers of my thought to the amazement of its existence. … it continues