In the Wait lies a “process” in that process our weaknesses are tested, we are confronted by the pressure facing the risk of having the feeling of being stuck and stirring. There is nothing more painful than seeing what you desire before your eyes in your surroundings In the lives of others moves in front of you like a mirage but cannot have it. The feeling of being so close and not there yet is internally disruptive and we are to appear bold, strong by holding it in being scared to be vulnerable or weak only for the pressure to take control of our mind just to weaken the body. “Pressure comes when there is no release”.
Sometimes the waiting process begins to change the ” You” we look at the mirror we cannot identify the strangers we have become. Our Emergency lights are on but no one can see, we are being persecuted for the ‘hope’ the only thing that gives us an essence, we cannot let it go because the guilt of giving up is much more terrifying than failure itself because we will continue to tell ourselves only if I had persevered a little more.
We wait for certain things; liberation, financial breakthrough, happy family life, spouse, career breakthrough etc.
Failure stirs you in the face yelling in a loud voice “defend yourself” Or “throw in the towel” courage and fear struggling in endless combat, “watching the time (clock) and calender is subjective. ” you can choose to see yourself as on top of the clock (on time) or beneath or behind the clock (late)
The testimonies of “the wait” in several aspect of my life tells me it is torture to wait especially if all that is left to do is watch.
But I say watch out also because you are like the stone the builders will throw away only to be picked back up again to become a corner stone, but I tell myself “I don’t want to hit the ground suffer that pain, burn even when I know it will pass and my pride, joy will be restored because they will come back to honor me” we all fear the process.
Because my hope comes from a source; God, a supreme being that is able to exist on my inside and on the outside of me, when my hope in me is reaching a reserve I run to his holy hills where he exists outside me and I cry “more of you lord is all I want now ” God by your strength have I ran through a troop and leaped over a wall. Walls of the high expectations of people and the troop of threat and fear because I am between the chaos and the calm.